Hi, this is Richard Grenell, interim executive director of the Kennedy Center.
As many of you may know, I was appointed to this position by President and Kennedy Center Board Chair Donald J. Trump in February. I can’t tell you how excited I am to oversee the most exciting season of programming in this venue’s storied history.
Since 1971, The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts has served as the epicenter of our nation’s arts and culture. In recent years, we’ve hosted some truly incredible acts. Arturo O’Farrill and the Afro Latin Jazz Orchestra paid tribute to civil rights scholar Dr. Cornel West. Australian conductor Simone Young brought to life Shostakovich’s Tenth Symphony. Carlos Miguel Prieto joined forces with Federico Osorio to interpret Beethoven’s Piano Concerto #3 AND Rachmaninoff’s Symphonic Dances.
But all of those amazing acts will look like a hot dumpster full of diapers compared to the season that’s yet to come. Hand-selected by President Trump himself, this new slate of performances will give truth to our new slogan:
The Kennedy Center: You’ll pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only use the edge!
Here’s a sneak peak of our upcoming season!
Billy Ray Cyrus performs “Ave Maria”
If you’re anything like President Donald Trump, you first heard “Ave Maria” last year when you were 77 years old and instantly fell in love with this timeless classic. Cyrus will perform the song for three straight hours while special guest President Trump gently sways back and forth on stage.
Cats
President Trump has long been a fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 1981 musical “Cats” and all but demanded that a touring production perform the show at The Kennedy Center. Unfortunately, no touring production currently exists, but the drama department at Grover Cleveland Middle School of Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey has stepped up to the plate. Come see this timeless tale of cocaine-fueled singing cats dying and going to outer space as it was meant to be seen.
The Kennedy Center Presents: The Great Actors
There are no shortage of famous actors who have thrown their weight behind the President, and we’re going to honor one of the finest to ever trod the boards. For one night only, Scott Baio will re-enact the very special 1984 episode of “Charles in Charge” in which Charles accidentally backs over his young ward Jason Pembroke with his Monte Carlo. There will be no stars in the sky because they’ll all be on stage tonight!
Damn Yankees 2: Damnder Yankees
The hottest supergroup of the 1990s is back with a brand new lineup! With a setlist consisting of nothing but songs about underaged girls, Damnder Yankees is made up of rocker Ted Nugent, Motley Crue’s Vince Neil, the guy who revved the chainsaw on Jackyl’s song “The Lumberjack,” and a racist who won a radio contest. Clap long enough at the end and the band will perform their famous encore in which Vince Neil comes back on stage and eats a 12 foot party sub without using his hands!
Don’t Doubt It!
Come see John Patrick Shanley’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play Doubt as you’ve never seen it before! This dramatic tale of a priest accused of sexual abuse has been reimagined as a Broadway jukebox musical featuring the music of No Doubt. Don’t Speak; just buy a ticket!
Grandma’s Christmas Quilt
The Play and Thespian Community Theatre proudly presents Grandma’s Christmas Quilt, their most celebrated Christmas show for 45 years running! A timeless story about a grandmother’s hand-made quilt that brings together multiple generations of blah blah blah, you get the gist, come see it.
Wind Beneath the Wings
Considered by many to be the best-kept secret in North Vegas, Wind Beneath the Wings are the only performance artists who operate solely in the medium of flatulence. In celebration of our great nation, they will re-enact Paul Revere’s midnight ride and then close out the show with a truly tear-inducing rendition of Ave Maria.
So be sure to come out and see The Kennedy Center’s best season yet! Much like when President Trump awarded the Medal of Freedom to Rush Limbaugh, this season will prove that when the President places his hands upon a beloved American institution, the inherent dignity and gravitas of the institution is transferred to the President and is in no way sullied or diminished.
Tickets are on sale now at Hobby Lobby.
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