By BEN R. WILLIAMS
Hi folks, it’s your girl Missy! After thinking about it for literally YEARS, I’ve decided it’s time to pull the trigger! I’m going to renovate my home’s old sunroom, and I’m going to document the whole process on this blog!
I’ve decided to go all-out. All the carpeting is GONE, and I’m going to get the original hardwood floors refinished. All the crummy old windows are going to be replaced with double-glazed low-E insulated windows. I’m even going to get a water line and install a wet bar; it’s going to be great for entertaining!
The contractor is coming out tomorrow to give me an estimate; I’ll let all of you know what he says. Wish me luck!
It took a little longer than expected, but the contractor came out today to give me the estimate on my sunroom! Well, I haven’t actually gotten the estimate yet, but it’s coming later this week now that he’s assessed the situation. I’m so excited to get this project rolling, I already bought some cool bar towels!
Finally got my estimate! It’s a little more than I’d initially hoped to pay, but I’m sure the end result will be well worth it. I signed the contract and gave the contractor a pretty massive check for half of the project, and he said I’m next on the list! Keep an eye on this space for updates on the process!
The contractor came by today, and I got really excited, but it turned out he was just in the area and wanted to drop off some wood screws. He said he’ll be back soon to start the project. I keep walking out into the sunroom and just looking around, imagining all the wicker furniture and neat plants I’m going to have out there! It’s going to be great.
The contractor finally came back. He removed all the windows from the sunroom and said he was hauling them off. He said he still has to complete one more project and then he’ll finally get started on my sunroom.
It has been nearly two and a half months since he cashed my check for $13,000.
He says he has one more project to finish up. Oh, how I’d love to believe his honeyed words.
I am Mortok, Queen of the Gas Hounds. While my scouts were salvaging rare metals in the ruins of an old Sub-Urb, they came upon this fancy electric book inside a carpeted “sun-room.” A few of them were able to read the ancient texts within, and now their hearts are filled with hope.
The texts tell of a great deity known as “Contrac-Tor,” a powerful being capable of creating anything simply by pointing his finger. My people believe Contrac-Tor stood ten feet tall, with a mane of vibrant jet-black hair and eyes like chips of ice. What a powerful ally this Contrac-Tor would be, a God of creation in this ruined world! He could gift us sturdy huts, strengthen our spears, perhaps even conjure potable water from thin air!
Alas, little is known about Contrac-Tor, but we understand him to be a deity most difficult to summon. Some of the men have set up camp in the Medicine Field and work day and night to contact this demigod. They have left out great bundles of the green pieces of paper once known as “dollards,” now useless to our people, in the hope that Contrac-Tor still desires them. They have also brewed many barrels of the drink my people call “Stagger-Water” in the hope that Contrac-Tor still has a thirst as mighty as his calloused hands!
As I watch their torches burn through the night, I wonder if Contrac-Tor will ever return. In my darkest moments — and this information I entrust solely to you, electric book — I wonder if Contrac-Tor ever really existed at all.
But I will not rob my people of their hope. The Gas Hounds need someone to believe in. They need a symbol of strength, an emblem of change. And perhaps so do I. In my heart of hearts, I may have my doubts, but outwardly, I want … no, I MUST believe.
One day, Contrac-Tor will return.