WASHINGTON, D.C. — A local resident and a zookeeper are at loggerheads after a wild gorilla was released into the man’s home a little more than 100 days ago.
Homeowner Jim Russell, 40, said that he returned home from work one day in late January to find that a male silverback Western Lowland Gorilla had been intentionally released into his house.
“I walked in and I thought someone had set off a bomb in my living room,” Russell said. “My TV had a hole in it. There were broken dishes everywhere. My toilet had been ripped right out of the floor. It took me years of work to reach this point in my life, and everything had just been totally destroyed for no clear reason. And then I go upstairs and see this gorilla standing on my bed, just smirking at me. My life has become a waking nightmare.”
But Earl Arnold, zookeeper at nearby Monkey Alley Gorilla Acreage, said that Russell is overreacting.
“I’m moving apes day in and day out in this business, and yeah, sometimes a gorilla accidentally gets released into someone’s house,” Arnold said. “In the business, we call that ‘shrinkage.’ But I’ll eventually get around to recovering the gorilla. In the meantime, this guy ought to just enjoy having this majestic creature in his home.”
Arnold has called Russell’s repeated calls to 911 and pleas to the media a classic example of “Gorilla Derangement Syndrome.”
“All this guy can talk about is how much he hates this gorilla,” Arnold said. “‘Oh no, the gorilla’s gonna make me lose my job. Oh no, the gorilla’s gonna kill me.’ It hasn’t happened yet, has it? I tell you, this gorilla is living rent-free in this guy’s head.”
“Look, I can’t entirely blame the gorilla,” said Russell. “The gorilla doesn’t know what it’s doing. It doesn’t even understand what’s going on around it. But the fact is, this gorilla is ruining my life, and of course I’m going to blame the people who set it loose in my house.”
In a social media post, Arnold said that if Russell hates the gorilla so much, he ought to just move.
“I’ve tried to escape multiple times,” Russell said. “The gorilla keeps blocking the doors and windows, and then it bats me around like a rag doll. I need medical attention, but of course the gorilla tore up my insurance card. It’s not like it matters; my insurance was through work and I’ve lost my job because of this gorilla.”
“It’s always complaints with this guy,” Arnold said. “I challenge him to say one good thing, just ONE good thing about the gorilla. He can’t do it. That’s G.D.S. for you.”
While negotiations between the two men have gone poorly, Arnold said that he does have plans in place to remove the gorilla from Russell’s home in 2028.
“Or maybe in 2032,” Arnold said. “Nah, I’m just joking. Or am I? Nah, I kid. Maybe. We’ll see.”
“My home will be totally destroyed by 2028,” Russell said. “And to make matters worse, this morning, a truck dropped off a howler monkey that’s quickly become the gorilla’s second in command. It’s a deeply unpleasant animal and you don’t even want to know what it did to my couch.”
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