Last Saturday, President Donald Trump set a new personal record when he got ratioed on his own social media network for the first time.
If you’re unfamiliar, getting “ratioed” is when you post something on Twitter (or Truth Social) and it gets more comments than likes or shares; this generally means that the majority of people who saw the post not only didn’t like it, they wanted to stop and tell you how much they didn’t like it.
Getting ratioed on the social media network you created to have your own private echo chamber and safe space is a bit like getting booed off the stage by your fan club at the concert you’re headlining, but Trump managed to pull it off. His secret: telling all of his supporters to stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein and his list.
“What’s going on with my ‘boys’ and, in some cases, ‘gals?’” the post begins. “They’re all going after Attorney General Pam Bondi, who is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! We’re on one team, MAGA, and I don’t like what’s happening. We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and ‘selfish people’ are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein. For years, it’s Epstein, over and over again.”
It’s true that many of Trump’s most ardent supporters have turned on Bondi, mainly because she recently stated that the list of Jeffrey Epstein’s clients who were allegedly flown around the world to sexually abuse children does not, in fact, exist. This is somewhat at odds with her Feb. 21 statement that the list was sitting on her desk.
A couple of observations: while I disagree with Trump’s assessment that Bondi is doing a fantastic job and that he has a perfect administration, I agree wholeheartedly that his administration is “the talk of the world!” That much is inarguably true, in much the same way that it would be the talk of the world if giant spiders exploded from the polar ice caps and threatened to devour all of humanity.
Trump goes on to say that that the Epstein list, which his administration said days earlier was a work of fiction, was actually written by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, James Comey, and the Biden administration. It’s all a fix!
“Why didn’t these Radical Left Lunatics release the Epstein files?” Trump asks. “If there was ANYTHING in there that could have hurt the MAGA Movement, why didn’t they use it?”
I’ll take a moment to answer that one. It’s because powerful political donors and politicians are on the list, and also because the Democratic Party would rather respect the rules laid out in the 1894 etiquette handbook “The Gentle McFancypants Guide to Being the Bigger Person and Appeasing Corporate Sponsors” than ever win an election again.
Trump ends his ramble by saying, “The 2020 Election was Rigged and Stolen, and they tried to do the same thing in 2024 … One year ago our Country was DEAD, now it’s the ‘HOTTEST’ Country anywhere in the World. Let’s keep it that way, and not waste Time and Energy on Jeffrey Epstein, somebody that nobody cares about. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”
Yes, let’s stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein because no one’s interested in the powerful child sex trafficker and his mysterious death; instead, let’s talk about something interesting and relevant, like the stolen 2020 election!
It goes without saying that if literally any other President in American history publicly shared a statement like this, a doctor from Walter Reed would be dispatched to fire a thorazine-filled dart into his neck and an investigation would be launched to figure out which world power slipped the President psychoactive toad poison. In 2025, it is merely a normal Saturday.
To further state the obvious, Trump doesn’t have much of a poker face. Chocolate-smeared toddlers being questioned about the whereabouts of the cookies have provided more convincing defenses than Trump does here. If Trump says that there’s nothing in the Epstein files and they should be forgotten, that clearly means there’s something significant in the Epstein files and they should be examined closely.
What’s odd to me is that we’ve known for years now that Trump is in those files. That knowledge certainly didn’t hurt him in the last election. I’ve seen more photos of Trump and Epstein hanging out together than I’ve seen of Trump and his daughter Tiffany.
The question, then, is what does this mean? Why this sudden, panicked call to the base to just forget all about that Epstein guy?
All I can say is this: if I had a list of famous people who had committed crimes against children, and everyone thought I was on that list, I wouldn’t keep the list a secret. I’d release it and clear my name.
As the old saying goes, if it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.
