On overreacting

On the first weekend of January, I performed wedding ceremonies for six LGBTQ+ couples.

This requires a bit of backstory.

About two days after the 2024 Presidential election, I was sitting on the back porch when I had an idea. I mentioned it to my girlfriend Lauren, and she thought it was a great idea. I’ve been an ordained wedding officiant since 2015, so I made a post on Facebook offering to perform free wedding ceremonies for LGBTQ+ couples prior to the inauguration, adding that Lauren had offered to make little wedding cakes for each of the happy couples.

I figured maybe three couples would reach out to me, at which point I’d drive out to their homes, say a few words, sign the paperwork, and move on. The next day I saw that the post had been shared more than 1,800 times and I was getting Facebook messages faster than I could respond to them. For a moment, I strongly considered the merits of having a panic attack and throwing up in the middle of Wal-Mart. Thankfully, Lauren volunteered to take over the organizational side of things since she enjoys event planning while I’d rather eat a live tarantula than organize an event.

Over the following two months, we worked with a host of wonderful volunteers and made the event happen. It took place at Ursula’s Cafe in downtown Roanoke, and thanks to help from volunteer decorators, photographers, bakers, and others, it was a huge success.

The six couples who ended up tying the knot that weekend couldn’t have been kinder, lovelier, or more gracious. By the end of the weekend, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fit my head through the door.

All of the couples had stories. One couple had been engaged for seven years and hadn’t been able to afford an expensive traditional wedding, and they were worried they were going to miss their window; when they saw an offer of a free wedding before the Presidential inauguration, they knew it was the perfect opportunity.

Another woman told me that she and her fiancée had been completely unable to find a wedding officiant willing to perform a same-sex wedding. She even asked a friend of hers that she’d known for 11 years; he never replied.

But one thing that all couples seemed to share was a sense that they had to act fast. If they were going to get married, they needed to do it before President Donald Trump’s second term entered full swing. More than a few resented that fact.

When my social media post offering the free weddings went viral, it attracted a slew of laugh reacts and a handful of negative comments. I expected that. What I didn’t expect was the nature of the negative comments.

Every single one boiled down to the following point: Donald Trump isn’t coming after gay marriage, and you’re overreacting if you think he is.

I’ll give this argument partial credit. For his part, I genuinely don’t think Donald Trump cares if same-sex couples get married.

However, a big chunk of his stacked Supreme Court just might.

In his concurring opinion written when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, Clarence Thomas wrote that “justices should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents, including Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell.” Obergefell v. Hodges is the case that held that the 14th Amendment requires states to recognize same-sex marriages. Essentially, Thomas believes that if Roe v. Wade must be repealed because the 14th Amendment does not protect abortion rights, then the Court should reexamine every major case that hinges on the protections of the 14th Amendment.

On January 7th, just two days after the weddings took place, Rep. Heather Scott (R-Idaho) drafted legislation asking the Supreme Court to re-legalize bans on same-sex marriage in the U.S., putting the decision back in the hands of individual states.

That one probably won’t go anywhere. But the next challenge might. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. And eventually, if the Supreme Court is tasked with deciding whether or not to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, no one can say with certainty which direction the majority of justices will swing.

After all, it seemed impossible that Roe v. Wade would be repealed right up until the moment it happened.

There is a general sense shared by many that we are still operating under the old rules, that there are laws and codes and best practices that will never be overturned because they’re somehow immutable. It’s a pretty thought.

The only thing I know for certain is that the couples I married this month aren’t overreacting because they’re worried they had to act fast before their right to get married got revoked. That concern isn’t crazy at all.

Crazy would be threatening to annex Canada.