SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Jennifer Sullivan, 37, and husband Matt, 36, decided it was time to buy a chair.
“We’ve been together for ten years and married for five,” she said. “It just felt like it was time for us to take things to the next level and buy a chair together. I was already drafting the Instagram post in my mind, a photo of us sitting in the chair with the caption, ‘So we did a thing.’ I was very excited.”
They didn’t set their sights particularly high. Jennifer, an adjunct professor of theoretical physics at the University of Southern California, and Matt, a high school biology teacher, knew they were never going to be able to buy a new chair or have one custom-built.
“Those days are obviously over,” Matt said. “Now back in the ‘80s, sure, anyone could buy a new chair. But in the 2020s, that’s just not a reasonable expectation.”
Managing their expectations, Jennifer and Matt begin searching the used chair market. They were devastated by what they found.
“All I wanted was a nice, comfortable chair to go in the corner of our 120 square foot apartment,” Jennifer said. “I didn’t want a massage chair. I didn’t want one of those chairs that has a USB port that lets you charge your phone. I didn’t even want a recliner! I just wanted a nice, comfortable chair for $50, maybe $75.”
But those chairs were nowhere to be found.
“I couldn’t find a quality chair for less than $100,” Jennifer said. “I’m a respected professor of theoretical physics while my husband educates the leaders of tomorrow. We obviously don’t have that kind of money.”
“I blame myself,” Matt said, fighting back tears. “I try to be frugal, I try my best to save money, but last week at the grocery store I caved and bought an onion. It cratered our joint checking account.”
Despondent, the Sullivans ended up buying two three-legged step stools, one of which is missing a leg.
“It’s not too bad if you lean against a wall,” Matt said, joylessly eating a bowl of ramen.
However, for people like Jennifer and Matt Sullivan, relief may be on the way.
Garrett Schofield, 78, is the entrepreneur behind an exciting new business model.
“I’ve worked hard to get to where I am today,” Schofield said. “I was an assistant produce manager at Piggly Wiggly from 1963 to 1990 before I was promoted to assistant manager of the entire store. I retired in 2019. Thanks to some smart investments along the way, I had enough capital to create a new business model that’s already filling a much-needed demand.”
Enter Vanguard Chair Rentals, Schofield’s brainchild.
“I’ve been going around buying up every chair on the secondhand market,” Schofield said. “I own the chairs so you don’t have to. Instead, you can rent the chair of your dreams for anywhere between $5 and $25 per month. And let me tell you, $25 per month gets you a very comfortable chair indeed.”
The business has been a runaway success for Schofield. While reviews of his service have been mixed, the numbers speak for themselves.
“I’m clearing about two million per year at this point, and I’m getting more renters every day,” Schofield said. “No matter who you are, you’ve got to have someplace to sit.”
Schofield chuckled. “And of course, those Millennials sure love sitting around, am I right?”
When asked if they would consider renting a chair from Vanguard Chair Rentals, Jennifer Sullivan very slowly lit a cigarette, while Matt Sullivan quietly regarded his two-legged stool and then began tying an extension cord into some manner of lasso.
