By BEN R. WILLIAMS
For the first time in history, America is invested in the election of the next Virginia Attorney General.
The reason, of course, is that Democratic Attorney General candidate Jay Jones was revealed a couple of weeks ago to have accidentally sent some pretty abhorrent text messages to Republican Delegate Carrie Coyner back in 2022.
The texts in question concerned former Republican Delegate Todd Gilbert. In the worst of the texts, Jones said that if he had three people — Gilbert, Hitler, and Pol Pot — and two bullets, Gilbert would get two bullets to the head.
There are at least three reasons to be upset about this, which I will list in order of importance. One, it’s a vile and reprehensible thing to say. Two, Jones, through his idiocy, has thrown one of the most important elections in Virginia history into chaos. And three, Jones was CLEARLY trying and failing to riff on the joke from “The Office” where Michael Scott says that if he had two bullets and was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby from Human Resources, he would shoot Toby twice. The only thing Jones is murdering is effective joke construction.
Jones, of course, has apologized profusely in the wake of these leaked texts, as well he should. Only time will tell whether voters accept that apology.
But Jones isn’t the only one sending horrific text messages! Not long after Jones’ text messages were leaked, a Signal chat from leadership from Young Republican groups nationwide was leaked, and hoo boy, it is rough stuff.
The chats, which were shared among a dozen members of Young Republican leadership between January and mid-August, follow their admitted attempts to steer the Young Republican organization towards a pro-Trump platform. And what winning arguments are shared among the youthful members of the Apple Trumplin’ Gang?
Well, they refer to black people as “monkeys” and “watermelon people.” They casually drop the N-word in various permutations. Peter Giunta, former chair of the New York State Young Republicans, wrote that “everyone that votes no (to our proposal) is going to the gas chamber.” Bobby Walker, vice-chair of the same organization, said that rape was “epic.”
But wait, there’s more!
Young Republican Joe Maligno, general counsel for the New York State Young Republicans, discussed how, “Gas chambers don’t fit the Hitler aesthetic.” “I’m ready to watch people burn now,” said Young Republican Annie Kaykaty.
And, of course, when Giunta was informed that one of Michigan’s Young Republicans promised the group will “vote for the most right wing person” to lead the national organization, Giunta replied, “Great. I love Hitler.”
Granted, a lot of these folks have since been kicked out of the Young Republicans and lost their jobs. But there’s at least one person who thinks that we shouldn’t be so harsh. And that person is J.D. Vance, known paragon of integrity.
“The reality is that kids do stupid things, especially young boys,” Vance said on a recent episode of The Charlie Kirk Show, now run by Kirk’s colleagues. “They tell edgy, offensive jokes. That’s what kids do. And I really don’t want us to grow up in a country where a kid telling a stupid joke — telling a very offensive, stupid joke — is cause to ruin their lives.”
Meanwhile, Vance said that Jones’ offensive texts were “far worse than anything said in a college group chat, and the guy who said it could become the AG of Virginia.”
First off, it’s worth pointing out that Jay Jones is 36 years old and the people in the Young Republican chatlogs were between 24 and 35 years old. Despite Vance’s characterization, these are not youthful scamps, mere babes in the woods who know not what they do. They’re adults by every definition, which makes them both more culpable and infinitely more pathetic.
Secondly, I write jokes. I know a lot about jokes. I have elaborate theories about jokes that I bore my friends with when the topic of comedy comes up. I also believe that there are no sacred cows in comedy and that anything and everything can be the subject of humor if you know what you’re doing and are willing to put in the effort.
Having said that, saying “I love Hitler” or calling black people “watermelon people” are not edgy jokes. They aren’t jokes at all. It’s just hate and racism. See, an example of an offensive joke would be, “Based on the photographs I’ve seen of the Young Republicans embroiled in this scandal, the only race they hate more than black people is the hundred meter dash.”
But actual jokes aside, the point here is that the double standards from partisan hacks like Vance are exhausting. You can either criticize both the Young Republicans and Jay Jones — and you should — or you can wave away the behavior from both parties as youthful indiscretion. The latter is still dishonest, but at least it’s consistent.
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