Isaac Sean Rakes was something special, his grandmother Rhonda Brown said.
“I was in the delivery room when he was born. He is my third grandchild. All my grandchildren are beautiful, but Isaac was different. He was perfect.”
She was fortunate to have a lot of time with him, too. In fact, he and his mother, Ashley Rakes, lived with her until he was 2 years old. His father is Terry Stump.
Isaac always had a talent for music. “I rocked him when he was a baby. When I ran out of songs, he would continue humming,” she said.
He taught himself to play guitar and piano. One of the special memories of him was when he played “Mary Did You Know” in the music store.
“I’d give anything if I had recorded it,” she said. “I just thought there would be more.”
Isaac killed himself on March 20, 2022, at the age of 18, just 2 months before he would have been graduated from Patrick County High School
It was a complete shock, his grandmother said. There had been absolutely no sign that things weren’t right.
He is buried on her property. Near his gravesite is a box with a notebook and pens. “People write little notes and leave him gifts,” she said.
On his birthday, his family goes to the cemetery with snacks. They “relive memories and cry and laugh,” she said.
Isaac had enlisted in the Marines before his high school graduation through the delayed entry program. He was looking forward to being a Marine, she said, but first he wanted to help Mr. Witt with the band camp.
“I was so proud of him when he wanted to be a Marine,” Brown said. “He admired the discipline and their body language, but mostly he admired their band. He wanted to be stationed in Japan.”
Now this grandmother is talking through her grief with others, to help families in the same situation to heal, and also to let people contemplating suicide know that there is help for them. She had a booth at the Patrick County Agricultural Fair to do just that. Looming large above the table was a photograph of Isaac in his band uniform, and spread out across the table were pamphlets and stickers with supportive messages and with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number.
“I want people to understand. I know there is a stigma attached to suicide. It is hard to talk about. I have heard every remark people make,” she said. Yet the families who suffer the heartbreak of a loss must be able to talk about it.
“I still cry every day, but it helps me to talk about it,” she said.
And she worries about people, especially teenagers, who think suicide is the only solution.
“I want to reach these people I want them to know they do have a voice. They are not alone.”
She would like people in crisis to know that they can “talk to their teacher. Talk to their grandmothers! It needs to be talked about more.”
“Isaac was baptized. I know he’s in heaven. It’s hard to keep it separated because of people’s beliefs,” she said.
Brown is trying to start the Isaac Sean Rakes Foundation. She and her daughters and supporters are raising money through yard sales, bake sales, a spaghetti supper and an upcoming Eagles bike run. All money raised goes to Patrick County High School’s band camp to help kids who may not be able to afford the band camp registration or associated costs.
“Music is important,” she said. “Isaac loved music.”
Kids “should have choir and band. It teaches them to get along with other kids. It teaches them to come together as a team.”
While their foundation status is still pending, people can make donations directly to the school, she said. Write out a check to Patrick Henry High School, but note “band camp expenses” on the memo line. The mailing address is 215 Cougar Lane, Stuart, Va., 24171.
